The story that sea salt. It’s a story of geology, endurance, and erosion. Unfortunately, this story seems to be unknown to several persons that dubious copious fame. And also they’ve taken that upon themselves to create a menagerie of strange, kickass and even gross theory on ocean salinity. Join me currently on a strange and wondrous expedition to debunk some bad celebrity science.

You are watching: Is the sea salty because of whale sperm

The chuck Norris Hypothesis

The world’s oceans were created from the tears of chuck Norris’ enemies.

A normal human being sheds around 100 liters of tears in your lifetime. The volume that the ocean is 1,335,000,000 km3. To to fill the ocean Chuck Norris would certainly need about 13 quintillian enemies. However, there room only around 7.5 billion human being on earth. Either 99.99999995% of lining Norris’ adversaries are aliens, or chuck Norris has actually extracted enough tears to to fill 5000 olympic swim pools from each and every human that has ever before lived. One of two people way, don’t f**k with Chuck.

The David Avocado Wolfe Hypothesis

The reason why the seas are braided is that’s what’s essential to host the water ~ above the Earth. If the didn’t occur the water would certainly levitate best off the Earth, that’d be the finish of it. The salt holds that on, in the same way it hold it into our body.

DO I should BATHE IN rarely HIMALAYAN icelandic SALT SO ns DON’T to rise AWAY? call ME AVOCADO MANBUN MAN!!! It appears Avocado Manbun man clearly denies the presence of freshwater lakes, which as result of their lack of salt, have to be floating away at this an extremely instant.

It’s heaviness Manbun Avocado. Heaviness is the attraction between different masses and keeps salt water, freshwater and also everything else on this planet on the ground. Salt just makes water denser than freshwater. Things that room denser sink, while points that space less dense (or buoyant) float. If you really gently to water saltwater into freshwater*, it will sink. Although if you lived on civilization with an setting of molten lead (which is 10X denser than water), salt water would be buoyant and float away into the sky. That would also be 621F and the water would certainly turn right into gas and you would be a liquid, however that’s just a young technicality.

The Snooki Hypothesis

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…the water’s all whale sperm. That’s why the ocean’s salty.

First thing: EEEEEWWW. Second thing: GOOGLED IT. This is additionally the point where i learned a lot about whale ejaculate. THERE are THINGS i CAN’T UNSEE. So exactly how much whale sperm carry out you must make the s salty?

Unsurprisingly, you can’t google the salinity the whale sperm. Yet you can google the salinity of person sperm. Due to the fact that we are all mammals here, I’ll just use human sperm as proxy sperm. Ejaculate is three times together salty together seawater (although it consisted of of a somewhat different collection of ions). Therefore according to Snooki, one third of the ocean volume is whale sperm. Sperm is likewise less thick than seawater (due to the lipid content). As such according come Bunman Avocado, it would float away right into the sky. But i digress.

Popular web lore says that a blue whale produces over 400 gallons of fluid each time the ejaculates, around enough to fill a warm tub. This is a worth that has been debunked, but no one has actually actually measure blue whale ejaculate volume. So we shall estimate it! Ejaculate volume for assorted whale varieties ranges indigenous 2-24 ml (2-16 bar shots). Testes dimension from 0.1-3.6 kg**. Testes size to ejaculate volume ranges from 0.01-0.6. At most, a blue whale with 45-70 kg testes would just make 27-42 ml of ejaculate (although ns agree this sounds yes, really small). That would be a an extremely sorry hot tub…or would it?

Blue whale you have failed us. Ns summon you Right Whale!! With 1 ton testes it produces gallons that sperm every time the mates. David Attenborough doesn’t lied people. Right whales have been known to live up to 70 years. Assuming ideal whales shot to friend 20 times per year, v 2 gallons every encounter…that’s 2800 gallons a year that ejaculate! Therefore, it would take 1.25 x 1017  hot and also bothered whales life 70 years every to do the s salty. If that were true, there would certainly be much more whales 보다 mosquitos and also it would be time come invest in some sort of whale swatter technology. I’m calling her bluff Snooki.

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THE SCIENCE fact CHECK

Salt in the ocean comes from rocks on land.

Yes, it’s true. No from vanquished foes, no from amorous cetaceans and also certainly not to protect against spontaneous levitation. ROCKS. End many, plenty of eons, rain pitter-pattered ~ above rocks, weathering them, dissolving salts and minerals. This ever-so-slightly water ultimately flowed right into the ocean. Some ions were consumed by sea beasties. Other ions continued to increase in concentration. It was this slow buildup of ions, in particular sodium and also chloride, the eventually became the braided sea water we now of today. It truly is a beautiful geological saga the is far better than any story a celebrity could or has ever before made up.

A shoutout to Madeline Merck, the owner the the lining Norris calendar that motivated this post!

*This assumes the the denser water does not mix with the surrounding water, aka you pour in thick red water into clear fresh water and the 2 waters merge to kind pink water.

**One Orca testicle weighs about the exact same as a newborn baby.

References

Kelley, T. C., Stewart, R. E., Yurkowski, D. J., Ryan, A., & Ferguson, S. H. (2015). Mating ecology of beluga (Delphinapterus leucas) and narwhal (Monodon monoceros) as approximated by reproductive street metrics. Marine Mammal Science, 31(2), 479-500.

Neuenhagen, C., Hartmann, M. G., & Greven, H. (2007). Histology and morphometrics the testes of the white-sided dolphin (Lagenorhynchus acutus) in bycatch samples from the northeastern Atlantic. Mammalian Biology-Zeitschrift für Säugetierkunde, 72(5), 283-298.

Robeck, T. R., K. J. Steinman, M. Greenwell, K. Ramirez, W. Valve Bonn, M. Yoshioka, and also J. K. O’Brien. Seasonality, estrous bicycle characterization, estrus synchronization, semen cryopreservation, and also artificial insemination in the Pacific white-sided dolphin (Lagenorhynchus obliquidens). Reprod., 138: 391–405. Doi: 10.1530. REP-08-0528, 2009.

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Robeck, T. R., Steinman, K. J., Gearhart, S., Reidarson, T. R., McBain, J. F., & Monfort, S. L. (2004). Reproductive physiology and breakthrough of fabricated insemination technology in killer whales (Orcinus orca). Biology of Reproduction, 71(2), 650-660.